Gap I Goodbye

My wonderful women of Gap I –

I have been putting off writing this all day. I haven’t known where to start or what words to say. So I’ve sequestered myself on the back porch, my favorite corner of my house. The weather today is gorgeous – fall is finally in the air and the porch is covered in the kind of leaves you can’t help but crunch. I have a fresh cup of coffee, berries and frozen bananas (my favorite Whole 30 approved snack) in a tiny bowl (my obsession – I love tiny bowls). My phone is on “Do Not Disturb.” I will not leave this spot until I have finished this letter – my blessing, my hand off, my goodbye for now. So take a minute, grab a cup of coffee of your own, and join me in my corner of the world. I saved you a seat.

As I have been calling and talking with all of you over the past few weeks, several similarities have come up in conversation, the biggest being how hard it has been for you to say goodbye. Unfortunately, it doesn’t get any easier. You will give tiny pieces of your heart away all over the world this year. There is a little boy named Alejandro in Honduras, a family in Zambia, a teenage girl in Cambodia, a school full of children in Malawi, a YWAM base in El Salvador, and so many more people who all have a little piece of mine. Though every goodbye is hard, it is also good, because I know I have built relationships, loved them well, and shown them Christ. I have seen the Jesus in them, too.

Today, 51 more pieces of my heart will head out across the world. I think back over the last year and feel so blessed that you have allowed me to do this journey with you. It has been so much more than just mobilizing you and helping you fundraise. You’ve allowed me into your lives. We have walked through family illnesses and deaths, both in your family and mine. We have gone through relationships growing or ending, both yours and mine. We celebrated birthdays, both yours and mine. We got excited about prom and graduation together. We followed each other’s lives through photos and blogs and conversations. We have prayed for each other. We spent 10 days hanging out and sweating in the north Georgia woods – that’s when I realized this goodbye would be a hard one.  

Thank you for letting me in. Thank you for trusting me. Thank you for loving me well, in return.

Today you are launching! You are getting on a plane to Cambodia! You are going out to do the thing! And I couldn’t be more proud of you. I wanted to send you out with a few parting words.

• You can do this. I believe in you, but more importantly, the Lord believes in you and has trusted you to walk this out. He will equip as you go. Just stick close with Him. Find your peace and strength and joy in Him. I won’t lie to you – there will be hard days.  There will be days you want to pack your bags and book the first plane/train/van/elephant out of whatever country you are in. But those are the days God will use to grow you. When you look back on that day, you will know you are stronger and you look more like Christ because you chose the hard thing and you stayed. You loved your team. You gave your all in ministry. You chose in. But there will also be good days – so many days of Jesus and love and laughter and adventure! There will days filled with new cultures and new foods and finding that quaint little coffee shop on the corner. This is a year you will never forget – so choose every day. And don’t for one second believe the lie that you are not called or capable of this. You are here. You followed the Lord here. So you are.

• This is not the biggest thing you will ever do. It might be the biggest thing you have ever done, but it is not the biggest thing you will ever do. You do not get to call it quits after this. You do not have to think it is all downhill from here. God has so so much in store for you after this, and this year gets to be about finding Him in the midst of all the options. He will show you your dreams and passions. He will show you things you absolutely hate. If you let Him, He will show you His heart for you. He will show you His desires for you. He will show you who you are. So go out and make this the biggest thing you have ever done, knowing that it will only get better with Him.

• Love each other well. Your team, your squad – they’re your family now. They will be the ones there with you every day – celebrating with you, crying with you, singing and dancing with you, crammed into tiny vans and sleeping in tight spaces with you. You will learn so much together – how to start fires and cook over coals, how to love women well, how to comb lice out of each other’s hair and handwash laundry. So fight for your relationships. Be intentional in them. Find out what makes your teammates feel loved and do that. Go on dates together. Have dance parties. Have good boundaries but no walls. Listen to each other’s stories and dreams. Tell each other about your families, your passions, and your struggles. Be open and honest and vulnerable. Be a safe place. Give one another feedback – encouraging and constructive. Believe the best of each other and give each other the benefit of the doubt, even when the enemy tells you to think the worst. Pray for the teammate who drives you crazy – she might end up being one of your closest friends. Celebrate even the little things. This first all female squad will show the world God’s true intention for relationships among women. You will be the Ruth and Naomi squad.

• Take me with you.  In fact, take all of us with you. Your friends, your family, your supporters. We are here, praying for you. We want to know and see the things God is doing in your lives and through you. I know sometimes it’s hard to put what you see and experience into words. I know sometimes there are some days where nothing happens and some days that feel like they hold the events of a week. But try. Try to capture it in words or pictures or videos. Start in your journals so you will always see they journey on which the Lord took you. But write blogs. Please, write blogs. I say this not as your mobilizer but as someone who loves you and desperately wants to see how the Lord is moving in the Kingdom. You are the seeds He entrusted me to water and care for. You are our investment in the Kingdom. Let us rejoice in the growth as you go out and plant, water, tend, and harvest. And please know, that no matter where I am, I am not going anywhere. I am still here, praying for you, fighting for you, and going right along with you. You can still email me and call me. Today will not be the end of our relationship. Our journey continues.

 

I believe in you. I pray blessings over you. And I will see you in Guatemala!