26, Not 2016

I would consider it fair to say that my 2016 did not get off to an ideal start.  If you have read any of my previous blogs, you know that the end of my 2015 and the beginning of 2016 have been defined by brokenness, loss, and confusion. While others celebrated the fresh start of a New Year, I was begging God for the year to be over – to be past the hurt of losing my grandmother, my mom, and (for all intents and purposes) my best friend.

It’s not that 2015 did not have high points – I had huge life changes, lessons learned, new community, travel, a new job, and a lot of joy.  But the ending… I didn’t love it.

So on January 1, instead of setting goals and seeing a clean slate, I looked at God and told Him He could keep 2016, because I wanted nothing to do with it.

It wasn’t a shining moment for me. But God has taken this year. He has held me every single moment of 2016 so far. He has walked me through deep valleys, when it felt like the mountain was on top of me, not just in front of me. He has shown me His love, His sweetness, and His grace. And He has shown me He is Good.

I cannot proclaim that I am great and healed and whole and fully ready to move on. But I can say that God is restoring my joy and He is bringing me back to myself, bringing me back to Him.

 In the beginning of January, I walked into the home of a couple that I have known for a few months. They greeted me, asking “How are you doing?” They did not know about mom or about my breakup. They did not know that I felt like I was crumbling inside. With dropped jaws and tears in their eyes, they listened to my story. Throughout the night, I kept talking with them, and for the first time, I found my spirits lifted. Before I left, they both (separately) approached me, prayed for me, and told me “I feel like I met YOU for the first time tonight. I did not meet someone defined by her family or her relationship, but I connected with YOU. I saw YOU. And I know you want to be seen. I see a spark in you, which I know is from God, that I have not seen yet. And it is beautiful.”

 This is what I want. I want to be seen and known. I want new life out of brokenness, to be better, stronger, and closer to God because of what He has been through with me. And I want to truly live and embrace this season that God has me in.

Thank the Lord (literally) we have a God of redemption. And I want Him to redeem the 2016 I so flippantly gave up on.  But since I cannot go back in time, I have decided that instead of making the first day of 2016 my new beginning, I will celebrate my New Year on February 12^th – the first day of my 26^th year of life. 

I want to intentionally embrace life, so I have been brainstorming a list – a 26 Bucketlist of sorts. Things I have always wanted to do or learn or be. Some of them are ridiculous, some are serious, some will be fun, and some will be challenging. But I want to keep searching, keep finding joy, and keeping finding myself in Him.  This is my season of living and experimenting and owning who I am, and this list is just a start.  So here it is – my 2016 26 Bucketlist!

26 for 26!

1. Go camping
2. Eat a meal with a random stranger – not a date, but just find someone and have a meal with them. Listen to their life story.
3. Find places and ways to teach again
4. Sing karaoke
5. Ride a motorcycle
6. Eat pupusas from the gas station – this is a local place here in Gainesville, and EVERYTIME I drive by I think, I want to go there. So now I will go.
7. See a musical onstage – Wicked? Phantom? I’m coming for you.
8. Chute the ‘hooch – which for you non-north-Georgia residents, means going rafting down the Chattahoochee River
9. Learn a New Skill – Snowboarding? Painting? Handstands? Who knows? I’ll take suggestions.
10. Go to a UK game – THIS ONE IS ALREADY HAPPENING. Not at Rupp, unfortunately, but at USC on the 13^th!
11. Learn to drive a manual transmission – This one is going to take a very brave and patient volunteer.
12. Step out of my comfort zone – Yeah, yeah, I know this is broad and general. But it’s more of a theme than a goal. I want to push myself this year, to experiment with things. Find new things I love, new things I hate, and learn to be bold.
13. Adventure and Explore my own Backyard – not my literal backyard, but the backyard that is my new home in GA.
14. Host a fancy dinner party
15. Go on a blind date – Terrifying. Also, this means I trust you, friends.
16. Take a trip by myself – And with the Lord, of course. Preferably somewhere new!
17. Run a 5K – Everyone else is out there setting goals for half-marathons and tough mudders, and I’m over here thinking “I HATE running. So. Much.” So this will be a challenge for me, but I want to push myself.
18. Build or create something with my hands. And finish it – Emphasis on the finish it. No more half-done projects.
19. Invest intentionally in my community
20. Complete a restaurant eating challenge – super spicy wings or giant burgers? I’m in.
21. Go to Music Shows – 2 of bands I like and 2 of bands I’ve never heard before.
22. Say yes to more things
23. Be debt free – Short of a financial miracle from the Lord, this one will NOT be happening this year. But I am going to push towards it and pray for it every year until it does!
24. Learn to be pursued – God has been actively showing me what it means to have someone pursue my heart.  In the past weeks I have received blessings, meals, jewelry, flowers, and more from the Lord (through other people). He lovingly reminds me of my worth. Better watch out, future fella, because God’s giving me some pretty high standards!
25. Go West! – The west coast and Rockies have been calling to me for months, and I am ready to answer! I’ll be in Arizona in November, for sure. Maybe I can extend the adventure!
26. Seek first His Kingdom – Every day. In all things. Always.

 

There ya have it – 26 things to do while I am 26. Hopefully, there will be more but I’ll keep you updated on these.  If any of these things sound fun to you, let’s do them together! I really want to hold myself to it, and bring others along with me! Watch for those Instagram posts with #26for26bucketlist !  Let the countdown begin.

  

Happy 2016 26, ya’ll!